I Hate Christmas (Presents)

Buying Christmas presents is one of my least favorite things to do, ever. I would rather clean my bathroom (which I might do tomorrow) or fold clothes or eat sauerkraut or gouge my eye out with a spoon. It's not the going to the store or the spending mother either. It's the figuring out what to buy someone that gets me. I just don't know what would be a good gift. I always have high hopes and then I get tempted to be clever and then I get tempted to be funny and then I get tempted to buy a chia pet. Here's the inner dialogue:

me: What should I get my sister for Christmas
myself: A sweater would be great!
me: I know nothing about buying clothes...even for myself, let alone someone else, let alone my sister.
myself: chia pets seem kinda cool
me: Wouldn't that be dumb?
myself: It might be clever?
me: Yeah, maybe it would be. She could water it and watch it grow and it would be nice
myself: Yeah, it'd be like a houseplant!!
me: A houseplant?
myself: It would be funny. She would laugh. It would be great.
me: Whoa...nooooo...it would be dumb
myself: Yeah, you're right
me: Let us not speak of this anymore (until next year).

I have given many horrible gifts but I have never bought anyone a chia pet (yet).

Messy Nativity

My thoughtful mother sent me a nativity scene. (My grandmother also sent a loaf of nut bread in the same box.)
I had some trouble trying to figure out where to put it up. All the surfaces in my house have junk on them. (My kitchen table has just enough room for me to eat amongst the junk mail, magazines, church newsletters, bills, and pay stubs.) I finally decided that the little counter in the middle of my apartment would be the best place. It would be prominent and there is a lamp there for illumination. This little counter also happens to have the largest concentration of junk on it. I finally just pushed the junk aside and put up the nativity.
It now looks like Jesus just came down into the middle of my mess. But if he would have waited until I sorted through and cleaned up all this junk, he would have stayed bubble wrapped in the box until the second coming. (Christmas Eve sermon? Eh?)

Endnote: Yes, there was a stapler at Jesus' birth and most definitely a roll of duct tape.

I Feel a Little Christmas

I was invited over to dinner by a family that goes to my church. I always enjoy dinners like this and tonight was no exception. It started with their son showing me his pit bike. He let me ride it. I have never ridden a motorcycle before. There was no clutch (apparently they are made like that). There was a 150cc engine. There was a wheelie. There was no intention of a wheelie. There was no injury. It was fun and I learned two things: 1)Why people like riding motorcycles and 2) Why people get so seriously injured on motorcycles.
Then he showed me their tree house. It has three levels and was actually pretty cool. My friend Brian would have liked it because it was a great tree house and a good tree to climb.
Then we had dinner, which was an excellent soup/stew called Snowy Day Cassole (or something like that).
Afterward we took a drive through Eagle Hills to look at the lights. It was cool out (54degrees) and driving past all the lights, in a car with good friends, seeing people with coats and hats on, and feeling the cool air outside and heat inside gave me the feeling of winter and Christmas for the first time this year. And then I came home to the lights on my tree.

Be a Christian, Sing a Song

Once a month, the youth guy from church takes some youth down to Biola University for their "House of Worship." The number of youth vary from 4-10 and sometimes I go along. It is a good way to get to know the youth and the adult leaders.
"House of Worship" is a concert/worship/service/program thing. When the MC was introducing the band he said, "It is easy to get distracted by all of the equipment up here, but don't focus on the equipment, focus on God." There was a lot of equipment and lights, and if the evening was suppose to be about God then it was distracting. But if it was a concert, then it was kinda neat. It had the potential to be a good show. And why can't a group of people, who are Christians, start a band and sing their songs, put on a show, entertain people and express themselves? Why does it always have to be worship? It seemed like they really just liked playing music and wanted to perform it for people, but they were trying to force it to be some kind of worship "experience." I think that if they would have just admitted that they wanted to put on a concert their music would have been better. It wouldn't have had to fit into some kind of worship mold. (Most worship music is not very creative. It all starts to sound the same to me.) They could have just been themselves. I think that it would have been more honest and, strangely enough, more pleasing to God.

The Getty

Yesterday, I made the one hour journey all the way up to the Getty Museum. It's a bit north of LA on the 405, but I left late morning and made it there in good time with reasonable traffic.
The Getty is an amazing place. It is a huge collection of artwork that is on display for free. (It does cost $10 to park there, but if you ride your bike you can park for free.) It is displayed in a magnificent modern looking complex
that sits on top of a hill looking down on the LA basin.
It houses a large collection of painting, sculpture, and decorative arts. They also have a collection of photographs. I didn't look at all of it. It was too much to see in one day. The complex itself is amazing. Even if there wasn't anything in the buildings it would have still bee worth driving up there just to see the architecture, the gardens, and the view. I highly recommend the Getty to anyone, especially if you ride your bike.

PS. I left at 2:30ish and didn't make it home until five. That's traffic.

Bolero: On Being a Preacher

In Bolero, by Maurice Ravel, there is a snare drum part that repeats through the entire piece. The piece is 15 minutes long, and the entire time the snare drummer plays "Rat tatatat, tata tat, tatatatat tat." I remember my high school band director telling me that this was one of the hardest things to do in music, because it has to be exactly right, every time, for 15 minutes. It can't speed up (which is very easy to do with something like this), and it can't slow down (which might happen if the drummer starts to fall asleep). The rest of orchestra gets to take turns playing the melody and having fun, but the snare drum just keeps playing steadily on. You can see for yourself. Try to listen to the whole thing without turning the volume down. (I dare you)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2q-gWMAGjw&feature=related

On Sunday's when I distribute communion, I say, "The body of Christ, given for you" over and over. I try to be sincere with each person but sometimes my mind wanders. Nontheless, the words are true every time. I realized that as a preacher, I am going to say those words over and over and over and over. Not only will I say them during distribution, but I will say them in many other ways in many other situations. That message is the very thing that I am being called to speak. I may say them in different ways at different times, but it must be that message. No matter where I am, and no matter how I say it, it must be those words. I cannot add anything to them or take anything away from them. Even when the rest of the world is having fun with their little melody Christ is still speaking those words, constantly, without waver. They are the ostinato of our lives as Christians and as a preacher Christ will often use my mouth and my life to keep them going. Christ says, "My body, for you. Me, for you. For you. For you."

PS. I have a new bicycle. It is pretty exciting. Read about it here at the bike blog.

Freedom Needs a King

Here's a thought: Freedom is not ridding ourselves of all kings. That would only put us in charge of ourselves and how can we be free if we are burdened down with the responsibility and rule of our own lives? Rather, freedom comes from having the right king. And our king died on a cross and is the good shepherd. Our king is no other than Jesus Christ himself. Amen.

Don't Wake the Preacher

Here is a joke that I found on the internet:

You might be a preacher if...you dream that you are preaching only to awaken and find that you actually are.

There is almost too much truth here.

First Snow in SoCal

We don't get winter here in SoCal (they say it will come later, but I don't believe them). Instead we get fires. Yesterday there was a particularly bad bout of them. The wind had subsided today, but they were still working on some spots.
I first became aware of the fire when I saw the smoke out my window:
Some of the fire was somewhat near my place (a mile or so maybe). I could see some of the flames from my mailbox:
I walked down the street a ways and I could see more fire:
Later in the day, the smoke began to role in and soon it was blocking the sun, which was ok because it was almost 90degrees out.

Today when I went to church, there was still a lot of smoke in the air, and there was a thin layer of white ash on the roads. It blew around like a little snow flurry:
I guess that is as close I am going to get to a snowy winter.

PS. I also received my new bicycle yesterday. I haven't done much with it because of the fire and smoke and such, but there will be a post about that soon.

Household tip #7865

This is the first time in my life that I have had my own apartment. I have had my own room before, but never an entire apartment. It is not big but it is more space than I have ever had, and it is all mine. I have my own shower and my own toilet that no one else ever uses. I have my own deck. I have my own refrigerator. I have my own kitchen table where I keep all my own junk mail.
I also have my own kitchen sink, with a garbage disposal. I use my sink to wash my very own dishes. Sometimes the garbage disposal will acquire a less than acceptable smell. Even for a bachelor's apartment.
Someone gave me some hand-picked oranges and they were so juicy that I had to peel them over the sink, so I put the peels down the garbage disposal. This gave my very own garbage disposal in my very own sink in my very own apartment a more acceptable scent.

Depressing Christmas Walmart

The other day I bought a few things at Walmart. (Don't worry, I don't usually patronize Walmart, but once in a while I buy a few things from them.) As I walked around the store I noticed that Christmas music was playing from the PA. I then walked past the Christmas aisles. Rows of superficial junk. The whole thing made me depressed. Walmart at Christmas time always makes me depressed.
Maybe it is because the whole thing is merely a ploy to get people to spend money. Maybe it is because it reminds me that I will have to buy people Christmas presents and every year I try so hard to get everyone a good gift and I always fail miserably. Maybe it is because it seems so desperate to begin the Christmas sales season so early. Maybe it is because the whole thing is so superficial, and as the season gets closer it will become overly sentimental as well. Maybe it is all these things.
Nevertheless, Christmas is sneaking up on us already.

Ecclesiastes: What?

The adult Bible study group at church came to the end of the book of Mark several weeks ago. The pastor asked them what they wanted to study next, and somehow they decided on Ecclesiastics. I was excited because it is one of my favorite books in the Bible. It goes deep. However...
It does not make for an easy Bible study to lead. The book is full of contradictory and confusing things. I don't mind these things myself. In fact, they are the very reason I like the book so much; on the surface it is meaningless, but deep down there is truth.
But when you try to study it verse by verse in a group, things can get difficult for a leader. There are many hard questions...
Well I have to lead this group for some of the weeks and so I went to the library to study up on Ecclesiastes so that I could be and extra smart intern and answer all those difficult questions. I found, however, that the books on Ecclesiastes don't have the answers. In fact many of them are quite boring. Ecclesiastes is just one of those things that is great to read, but dreadful to read about.

Congratulations.

I would like to extend my sincerest congratulations to Senator Barack Hussein Obama on being elected the 44th president of the United States of America. A great honor has been bestowed upon him and a great responsibility has been given to him. I hope he got plenty of sleep during his campaign because now he must go to work. Expectations are high but if he tries for even half of what he promised, he will do great things.
And to the people of the United States of America...
The game is over. It is time to get to work. There are many challenges facing us and there is no time to lose. Once you have recovered from your election party hangover, turn off the TV, stop reading the blogs, get up, and get to it. There are millions of people in this country and this world who need nothing less than your service and sacrifice. Now that the election is over you can stop talking about Sarah Palin around the water cooler and start talking about what you are going to do to bring about this great change. We have a leader, now we need the courage and commitment of each and every citizen. And may the God of the universe bless us and guide us.

Facebook Groups: Politics

I have been invited to join another political Facebook group. This one wanted me to donate my status for Barack Obama. I'm sure I could just as easily have been invited to donate my status to John McCain, or to Bob Barr, or Cynthia McKinney. I have been invited to several groups like this and I have joined none of them. While there is nothing wrong with these groups in and of themselves, they are an indication of a quite disturbing attitude among many people in the USA.
It seems like most people in this country believe that the solution to any problem is having the right president in office. People think the solution to global warming is to vote for the right candidate. They think the current economic problems are all the presidents fault and if we make the right choice in November everything will get better. They think the president can end poverty, fix health care, save social security, and lower taxes.
The truth is that the people of this country are the solution to the problems. If we want to save the economy we have to stop being so greedy and manage our finances better. If we want to end global warming we have to reduce the amount of energy we consume. If we want to end poverty we have to help people in our own communities and stop living lifestyles that contribute to systems that breed poverty. If we want to save social security we need to start saving for our retirement.
It is ridiculouse and dangerous for us to look to the government, and especially to look to only the president, to solve problems and get things done. The only reason we do it is because we don't want to make the sacrifices necessary to make a difference. We are too greedy and self-centered and we can't even admit it. So we look to someone else to do it. If we keep looking to the government to do everything for us, it will. It will get more and more powerful. The president will get more and more powerful because we will want them to be. And in the history of the world it is quite rare to find a place where having one very powerful person taking care of things in a large and powerful nation has led to any good.
This election has become too "historic." We give it far too much weight. Be more concerned with who your senators and representative are and be even more concerned about what you personally are doing to make the world a better place.

My oh My, Which Bike to Buy

I have been spending an unreasonable amount of time fretting about how to replace my broken bike. My quest for a new bike has turned into an epic adventure. You can read about a part of it at my other blog: Cycling fool

How to Operate a Motor Vehicle: Part 1

About a week ago I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle. I do not seem to be injured much by it, only a bump on my knee and a red mark on my shoulder. However, my bike was totaled and I very easily could have been killed. You can read about the accident at my other blog Cycling Fool.

However, in light of that near miss I want to take some space here to review a few driving rules:
First, turning vehicles must yield to traffic, including bicyclists and pedestrians. The man who hit me was turning left. He was turning across two lanes of traffic and a bicycle lane. According to the law, he was supposed to make sure that all lanes AND the crosswalk were clear before turning left across them. He obviously failed to do this.
This is also true when turning right, especially at a red light or stop sign. Many people do not know (because they are ignorant of traffic laws and selfish on the road) that they must come to a full and complete stop at a red light BEHIND THE CROSSWALK or BEHIND THE STOP SIGN. Many people think that they can stop in the crosswalk, or that they only have to slow down if they are turning right. These people are stupid and are likely to kill someone.
Here is the proper way to turn right at a red light or stop sign: First, come to a full stop behind the crosswalk or stop sign. If at this time you need to move your car forward in order to see to your left (for example, if there is a car to your left blocking your view) you can do so carefully, watching for people crossing in front of you. Then if everything is clear, you may turn.

If you are turning right OR left on a green light, YOU MUST YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS!!!!!!!!!! I know that this comes as a complete surprise to many of you. After the amazement wears off you might want to go check and see if there are any dead bodies under your front bumper.
When you a have a green light, pedestrians may also have a green light and there is no reason why you should run them over or honk at them while they legally crossing the street. Simply wait for them, then turn.

Now many of you violate these rules because you are in a big stinkin' hurry and you think that you are more important than other people in the world, especially those who are not in cars. Many times you are in a big hurry because you are late.
This is a problem with a solution: Leave earlier.
Plan ahead, know how long it is going to take for you to get there, then add 10% and leave accordingly. The world is full of clocks and you can even buy one at Wal-mart and wear it on your wrist so that you can know precicely what time to leave. If things go well you will arrive relaxed and early and if you have to wait for some pedestrians you will arrive on time.
If this does not work and you are going to be late anyway, simply be late. Driving fast will not get you there much sooner but it will greatly increase the chances of someone dying.

Stay tuned for future installments of "How to Operate a Motor Vehicle." And I am more than willing to give one-on-one lessons and/or deomnstrations.

Bipartisan Cola

I was buying groceries at Albertson's one day and I saw some Jones Soda. The bottles looked like this:
They only had the two political flavors, Pure McCain Cola and Yes We Can Cola. There wasn't any Bob Bar Root Beer or Cynthia McKinney Mango. I looked at the Jones web page, www.campaigncola.com, and did find that they had Ron Paul Revolution Cola* and Capitol Hillary Cola. But as usual, the only way to access the other candidates was through the internet.
I enjoy a Jones Soda on occasion so I bought a bottle of each. It was a very bipartisan move. I took them both home and refrigerated them. A few days later I drank one of them. It tasted good, like a Jones Soda should. The next day I drank the other one...and I realized that it tasted exactly the same. It seemed odd to me but when I looked at the labels I found that on the inside, they were of the same substance:
It turns out they were different in label only.

*By the way, Ron Paul Revolution Cola was in second place in the Jones poll. Check it out.

I Feel Like a Real Pastor

I have been easing into my responsibilities as intern at the church, taking on a little at a time. For the next couple of days, my supervising pastor is gone, so I have taken on even more responsibilities.

Today I led the adult Bible study and helped with the preschool chapel. I spoke to a woman and took her down to a local hotel to help her get a room with one of the vouchers that the church gives out. I interacted with a mentally ill and very unpredictable woman who cannot hang out at the church too long (because of dangerous behavior in the past). I drove half way across town to see a parishioner in the hospital. I even worked on my sermon for Sunday. And for some reason this was the first day I've worn a clergy shirt during the week. It was one of the first days that I felt like a real pastor.

Wind is Evil

***WARNING: This post contains a certain amount of hyperbole. I assure you, however, that this is the most important hyperbole in the world, ever.

As many of you may know, I am not a big fan of wind. Or to be hyperbolic: I HATE WIND!!!!!!!! I am convinced that all wind blows straight up out of the very depths of Hades.

I should make an important distinction at this point. There is a difference between wind and a nice breeze. Breezes are sent by God to refresh the air, cool our bodies, and rustle the leaves. However, if the air is moving at a speed greater than that which is necessary to accomplish these tasks or others like it, then it is wind.
And wind is bad/my least favorite weather element/a great cause of unceasing frustration.

Yesterday I encountered wind here in California for the first time. I rode my bike in it. It is also teaming up with fire to try and burn down houses north of LA. Fire is bad sometimes, but it gets together with wind it is bad news. Wind brings out the very worst in fires. There are many firemen right now who hate wind even more than I do.

Wind makes any other weather element worse. Rain is OK, but if it is blown by wind it is worse. Snow is OK, but wind makes it into a blizzard. Wind makes the cold colder and the hot more like a blow dryer. Tornadoes and hurricanes are wind.
Wind blows dirt into my eyes, papers off my desk, and debris into the road.
Wind does so much more than I can write about here so I have decided to start a list, found to the right, of all the negatives of wind.

I Love Libraries

I don't have to preach tomorrow. I do have to preach next week. It's Matthew 22:15-22. The story where Jesus says, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." I decided that I needed to do some thorough exegesis for this one. For those of you who may not know, exegesis is like doing research on a specific Bible text. You tear it all apart and find out what every word means and meant. It involves lexicons, concordances, Bible dictionaries, commentaries, and maybe even, if you're lucky, a little Greek grammar! I don't happen to have a reference library with all those volumes (yet), so I went down to Biola. They were nice enough to give me the clergy rate on a library card and let me loose with the books.

I know libraries aren't fun houses for most people. However, I didn't have a deadline, I have a week until the sermon, the exegesis isn't graded, and I'm actually very interested in studying the Bible, so I was just soaking up the library. It was nice to be in a student atmosphere again. It was nice to have so many useful books in the same room with me. I just like libraries.

PS One of my biggest pet peeves in life is to go to the shelf in a library and find that the book I need is not there. Especially if it is a reference book or a reserved book. It happened to me today. I needed the third volume of the Anchor Bible Dictionary and it was gone. I din't see it laying anywhere and I didn't see anyone using it. I sure hope someone didn't just take it out of the reference area and leave it somewhere. That would be ridiculouse.

Friday?

Fridays are weird now. Fridays are my day off. I've never had a day off like this before. On Friday I can sleep in and stay up late. Then I can sleep in again on Saturday. It used to be that I could stay up late on Friday night, then sleep in on Saturday morning. I could stay up late on Saturday, but there was always church on Sunday so no sleeping in. Now I have these Fridays. I don't know what to do with them.
Today I cleaned my apartment. What a weird life.

You Shall Have No Other Striped Shirt Before Me

Last week, at the end of confirmation class, we played a little quiz game. We had just spent the hour talking about the ten commandments. Two students went head-to-head.
Question: "What is the first commandment."
Silence.
They didn't know.

This week, one of the contestants of that little failure of my teaching career, pointed out that I was wearing a different striped shirt this week. I wear a lot of striped shirts. Apparently I wore the same shirt the first two weeks. I didn't know it. They didn't know the first commandment. I guess we both need to pay better attention.

I Just Wanna Be a Sheep

"He would whack him on the head with the staff!"
Today, in their weekly chapel, the preschoolers were hearing about Jesus being the good shepherd. The teacher was reading them the 23rd psalm and showing them pictures in a book. She explained how the shepherd has a staff with a crook to keep the sheep in line and protect them. There was a picture of a wolf in one of the pictures and she asked, "What does the shepherd do when a wolf comes?" To which a 4 year answered, "He would whack him on the head with the staff!"

The image of Jesus as shepherd is used a lot in the church and in the Bible and it is a good image. But I always think about the calm sheep and green pastures and the idyllic life of a shepherd. This four year today reminded me that being a shepherd is hard, dirty, dangerous work that has a dark side. The four year old was exactly right however. (Perhaps someday he will be a brilliant theologian or preacher.) When Satan comes after us, Jesus, the good shepherd, bashes him on the head with his staff. In fact, Jesus on the cross is that crushing blow. Satan prowls like a roaring lion and when he gets close to Jesus' flock Jesus takes his staff and strikes him a mighty blow. And thank God he does. We are no more than stupid sheep and would be devoured for sure.

PS Shepherd imagery worked great in the Bible because they actually had shepherds around. We don't anymore and so I think we lack a lot of understanding. There is a great child's book about a boy shepherd and it gives a great picture of the difficulties of being a shepherd. I recommend it to everyone, especially people who are going to be pastors. It is called The Hay Meadow by Gary Paulson. (Probably not related to Prof. Paulson.)

No Post Today

I wanted this to be a good blog, with a post everyday. I also wanted it to be interesting. Something that was worth your time to read. I don't think I can do both. And quality is more important than quantity. (Anyway, you all should be out working hard, doing good works for your neighbors, not reading this blog.) So there won't be a post today. Check back later.

Kitchens and Dark Parking Lots

For some reason, I have found that a large percentage of substantial conversations happen in kitchens and parking lots late at night. The kitchens I can sort of understand. People just hang out in kitchens. It's where the food is. It's where Mom is (traditionally). I've been at more than one lock-in, at 2am, in the kitchen, talking to youth about life and God. I talked to my parents about college at the kitchen table. Dad talked to salesmen at the kitchen table. And whenever there is a family gathering there is a group in the kitchen talking about something interesting. For whatever reason significant conversation happens in the kitchen.

But I have also had many conversations with people in parking lots late at night. We'll be on our way to our cars and just as we are about the go our separate ways we begin to talk about the world, life, religion, and politics. And we'll end up standing there for over an hour, talking.
It happened to me tonight. I was leaving the church after going to the praise band practice. Two other guys and myself starting talking about how crazy the world seems with the economic "crisis," the election, and everything else in the world. Somehow we started talking about religion too, and we got onto the subject of evangelical mega churches and altar calls. We actually started talking about the Gospel!!!! We even talked about Law/Gospel.

The Gospel is to be proclaimed to all people everywhere. And sometimes we have to stand around in a dark parking lot for an hour before the opportunity comes.
The moral of the story: If you want to proclaim the good news to people, you have to be with people, wherever they are, whenever they are.

Perhaps a Poll and Some Rain

I will begin with an apology. Yesterday's post may have been politically offensive to some people. Sometimes things happen in this world that my public school education has not equipped me to understand. I get all worked up in a frustrated confusion which then spews out all slobbered in sarcasm. (Yes Aase, if only I had the technology.)
Please check out the poll to the right and voice your opinion. I'm quite curious to see the results. (Please vote only once.)

It rained yesterday. It also rained last Monday. Now for all of you who live in the Northwest, or Midwest, or Alaska, or any normal place on earth, this may not seem like big news. But I have lived here since the middle of August and this was the first precipitation. I was beginning to think that my roof was just a decoration. People told me it doesn't normally rain much. This is a desert. So when it started raining on Monday, all of us at church went and stood by the window and looked out at the rain. I'll have to admit, I was glad to see it. It freshened up the air a bit.
They tell me that this winter we might get a lot of rain. I'm not sure what they mean by a lot. They also tell me that it is going to get "cold," but there isn't a lick of insulation in my apartment and the water main valves here are above ground. If 50 degrees is their idea of cold, then I wonder how much rain is "a lot."
I am looking forward to the rain though because it washes the smog out of the air (and into the ocean, along with tons of trash). They tell me that I will be able to see Catalina Island from La Habra Heights. If you look at my bicycle blog you will see that right now, with the smog you can barely see La Habra. So I look forward to rain.

I Want It All

**SARCASM ALERT**SARCASM ALERT**

In light of recent action taken by the congress of the United States of America, I have decided to change my financial strategy. Starting today, I am going to try and spend as much money as I possibly can. It has become obvious to me that it is the least that I can do for the stability and prosperity of this country. The United States economy and indeed the economy of the entire world depends on me. I will no longer save money. Instead I will apply for as many credit cards as I possibly can and then I will buy as many luxury items as I can with those credit cards. I think I will begin with a new road bike, maybe a mountain bike as well. Then an entirely new wardrobe. I also need a vastly greater number of shoes. Of course there will be the necessary electronics, plasma TV, surround sound system, and at least 100 DVDs. This spending will not be enough though. There is more that I must do to protect our way of life and the American Dream.
I will buy a new car. It will not matter that I am living on an intern's salary because I won't need a down payment and will have the credit cards. This will of course have to be the biggest and most expensive car possible so that Detroit can make its money and the oil companies as well. I will not stop here however.
I will also buy a house. Preferably the most overpriced house in America. Any bank in this nation will give me a loan because the price of houses has to keep going up forever so there couldn't possibly be any risk for them. (Anyway, if the mortgage does go bad on them, they can always sell it to the government.) To do anything else would be un-American. Again, I don't need to worry about my income because I will not need a down payment and I am paying for everything else with credit cards. Maybe I can make my house payments on a credit card as well. It doesn't matter that I don't need the house (the church has put me up in a nice apartment), it is the American Dream. Every time I gain any equity in the house, I will borrow against in and buy more stuff. In a couple of years, when the price of my house has doubled (how could the price possibly not go up from the overinflated price that I pay for it?), I will sell it, buy two more houses and a yacht.
I am hoping that if I put my all into this spending plan I can make up for all those years of being prudent, responsible, and un-American.

*The views expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect those of The Scooter Report or its advertisers.

The Beginning of a Blog

This is my new blog. I realize that most blogs have some focus or theme or specific subject matter. For example, many of my friends have blogs that are about their internships, some people have political blogs, and some people even have blogs about dogs.
This blog, however, will most likely be about all those things and more. (I don't promise much about dogs though.) I don't have much to say at this time, but if you check back in later, there may be something to read.