The Cycle

Anytime I have a project or a speech or a paper or a sermon to prepare I go through a certain cycle. It starts with optimism and good intentions. I will have the assignment, see what needs to be done and see myself doing well at it. I decide that I am not going to procrastinate or stress out this time. I give myself some deadlines and get to work. I make it through the research and brainstorming part just fine. I will still have plenty of time and motivation to carry me through. Then things start to go badly. I start to think that my thesis or main idea is bad. I start to see that it is going to turn out poorly. Then I get anxious. Then I procrastinate. Time goes by. As the due date looms near I start to get anxious about my procrastination which only leads to more of both. Eventually I end up finishing at the last minute, maybe even the night before. I don't feel good about it because I think that it should be better, but I hand it in or deliver it anyway. When it is all over I feel incredibly free and high spirited. I can see how things went wrong and how to fix them next time. Next time I will get it done early. Next time I do it well. And the cycle goes on...